Monday, December 21, 2009

Sorry I Asked.....sort of

Yesterday was our 12th anniversary. Shane was feeling a little under the weather so we had a low key family day at home building K'Nex and playing "Gold fish" as Kateri calls it. It's always fun playing with her and Cyprian. She gets the game and is pretty good. Pippin, when asked if he has a Jack says "No, but I have a three and a four" and usually announces the new card he has fished out of the pile. But that is fun too. As have been the last 12 years.

So the other night, we were getting into bed and I asked Shane,

"Why did you want to marry me?"

He looked surprised.

"Why did I want to marry you? Because I loved you."

"But why? What did you like about me?"

I wasn't looking for an ego boost or anything. I was just really curious. I mean I know what I was like back then. I wasn't really very nice. I was kind of moody. If I didn't
get fed often enough I was*not a nice word.* When I think back I really wondered what he was attracted to. And what made him not run away.

He paused.

"I don't know. I never really thought about it. I just loved you. I couldn't help it or change it. It just is."

He paused again.
"I mean I guess I'd have to think about it. Maybe if you gave me couple days I could write up a paper or something. But I've never thought about why."

I started laughing. I had only asked for fun but I was sure he could come up with something. He was acting like I had asked him what his favorite Martian dish was.

"I don't really think in details. I'm a big picture person so when you ask for details its hard for me to say. Let's turn it around. What would you say if I asked you the same question?"

I leaned up on my elbow and looked at him. I rattled off a list of things I like,

"I like the way you laugh, your sense of humor. I appreciate your work ethic. The way you would interact with my nephews and siblings, and now our kids. Your honesty, your thoughtfulness, your character."

He looked pleased and said,

"Wow. This is nice. Keep going."

I stopped.

"I could go on. But its your turn. Does hearing some of my list help?"

"A little."

I waited.


Finally he came up with this gem.

"I love all the potential you have. I know sometimes you say you can't or have some excuse for why not. But I know you are capable of a lot more than you think you are.'

He delivered it like it was really something.

I wrinkled my nose.

"So you loved me for my potential. Like a lump of coal could someday be a diamond. Hmm. I don't think I'd have ever guessed that."

I was still laughing when he turned out the light.

"I like that you like to read," he offered as a parting gift.

It's been a great 12 yrs and I look forward to the next dozen. And the next. And to someday achieving my potential. I didn't ask what he thought that might look like. That would much too detailed.

I don't know why the date is wrong as today is the 28th. Oh well. I had to ask for help getting my keyboard to work. Of course he just pushed one button and then tried to explain why it worked when he did it. I don't really care about the details as long as it works. And it gives him something useful to do. Besides taking out the garbage.

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