Thursday, November 20, 2014

Sorry For Beating A Dead Horse...

Though if it helped I would do it in an instant. And maybe poke a few pins in it just for good measure. Though what I think I really need is sleep. That might change everything. For example:

Yesterday, my sister came over for a visit. It had been while due to kids sickness, some family vacations, and just life. She showed of her nice winter boots that did not make her legs look like toothpicks, talked about her yoga classes as she cooked a fat pork hunk for dinner with her husband and boys that night probably with a cozy bottle of wine and a nice fire. I know I desperately need to exercise and eat more, and even more. Every shower I'm reminded how slack my skin is over less than toned muscles. My belly looks like a goofy-grinned Cyclops  in desperate need of a face lift ( big shout out to daily Copaxone shots for smiling crescent and to pregnancies for the rest.) But lately I'm too tired to really care and I rarely go anywhere I can't just throw cozies on for. So no big deal.

Shane had already warned me he'd be late so I wasn't surprised when I didn't see his headlights until 9:30. But I was surprised as   the minutes continued and he didn't come to the door. I got the kids, babies included, to bed and waited but still no Shane.

"Maybe he fell asleep, " I started wondering. maybe he doesn't want to come in. Why would he want to? Its usually crazy and whiny in here. And messy. Of course he would rather eat dinner somewhere else with someone else and then it still wouldn't be enough of a break so he would need to just sit alone in his truck. Or maybe he has bad news and he is not sure how to tell me. Maybe he doesn't like me anymore and he's hoping I'll just go to bed before he comes in?

After 15-20 minutes, I gathered up all my nighttime paraphernalia- water, baby monitor etc.-and headed up to our room. Shane walked in the door just as I reached the staircase. We exchanged greetings in the mostly dark and quiet  hallway. He seemed beleaguered and weary. I was too tired to be curious about his absence and thought it could wait until morning. He asked if I'd be up for foot rubs and chatting but I said no. Too tired. So we went up to bed.

And of course I couldn't sleep. Shane fell asleep quickly and I lay there slightly regretting my turning down the offer of  company and happy feet. So I grabbed my phone and was surprised to find a text from some unknown man asking for my mailing address. And that his wife, oh sure you're married, had been trying to contact me about a contest I'd won and to please respond.

Really dude? Don't you know Facebook is riddled with  strangers, some not so bright, and others who can spot a scam when they see it and I am not telling you where I live but thanks for the heebie-jeebies just as I'm trying  to sleep.

Then Fiona started squirming. I was glad to have something pleasant, grounded, and real to do.  I lay there feeding her and she drifted back to sleep and I contemplated leaving Facebook forever.

I finally fell asleep after 1am, despite or maybe due to the Benadryl I took before getting in bed. Not for long as Malachi started his 'mama' calls just after. I tried to talk to him from our bed and see if that would work. It didn't  Then Fiona decided she just needed a little snack and started grunting.  Shane got up and I settled in with Fi thinking we could finally relax. Then Malachi called out again at which point I realized Shane did not get up to take care of  Malachi. He didn't even realize it was Malachi's calling that had woken him up and thought it was just his bladder which  caused him to bee-line it to the bathroom and out of hearing range. I was praying the noise would not disturb the baby into complete consciousness.

Shane came back and handed Malachi his sippy cup finally. Which Malachi did not want. So after only a few minutes of lost sleep, Shane decided it would be better to just put him in our bed. Which usually works. But this was not usually. Malachi still complained about his not-baba (I'm hoping/trying to get him used to no bottles of milk at night in the hopes that he will finally start eating in the day. When normal people eat.) But eventually Shane went down to make him a bottle and get ibuprofen. Malachi has been teething- like since he was born-but more so lately and was/is working on clearing up his pneumonia.  The fever is not gone for good yet so ibuprofen was a good bet.

By that time Fiona, who adores Malachi, had noticed the company and was so excited she started chatting a mile a minute only pausing a second before slipping into  tongue clicking mode. Which, even at that ungodly hour, is so ridiculously cute I couldn't help but smile. Then someone somewhere told a funny joke and she broke into belly giggles. Also insanely adorable.

Malachi was only mildly disturbed by Fi's antics and after an hour or so settled back down. Fi decided she was a tiny baby again and could only nurse with me sitting up. Which put her in prime pulling big brother's hair, or kicking his face territory. 'Sleep? That's for old people. I'm young and energetic and have a super clicky tongue. Want to hear?'

Finally, after a few hours of tortured sleep, Shane got up for work. I tried to prolong everyone's sleep but Fiona decided I probably needed to start my caffeine drip early as I would need a lot to make it through the day. Thoughtful girl.

But after a coffee and a shower and a little communication, yesterday turned into an entirely different day.

Yes, my boot-wearing sister came over. And yes she did yoga. Also  it did something to her back in   that makes her wince when getting out of chairs. She also brought a toy vacuum cleaner for Malachi and walked Fiona to sleep for a nap. And showed me and my kids there is a world still out there not populated by zombies. And we can go there too. Someday.

Shane did work late and had a dinner meeting with a co-worker. Which wasn't much in the way of sustenance but at least he got dinner. Some days he has to skip lunch  When he got  home he sat in his car to take a call for a sync-up with his India team. When you have teams spread across time zones somebody is staying up late or getting up early. He did hear Malachi and gave him a  pat  BEFORE going to the bathroom and Malachi seemed fine. When he realized he wasn't he went down filled a bottle and gave him Motrin  and sat by him comforting him for a long  time before deciding it would be better to just put him in our bed for the little time he had left to sleep. Before he had to get up and do it all over again.  He did hear Fi and the clicking and also couldn't help but smile at her cleverness.

And the Facebook stranger really is the husband of the husband-wife team running an out-of-print  Catholic book printing shop. And I had legitimately  won the free book contest  they were running which I had entered. I just didn't  know his name.

Moral of the story, get some rest. And if you do come across a dead horse, give it a swift kick from me.

Thursday, November 6, 2014


Shane is not a huge reader of blogs. At least mine. Which makes me feel better about stating 'facts' when I write. Typically if the main point of a text I send him is not in the first paragraph, he won't get to it. If I need five items from the grocery store, I need to communicate it in the first three words. In emails, he will often skim for the main points. So I usually distill as much as possible. I know he's busy doing whatever he does and I respect whatever that is.

So I was surprised the other night as we got into bed and he  looks at me and asks in amazement,

"You really don't know what I do?"

"Kind of. Maybe. I mean you've had lots of different roles. I wouldn't know how to explain it someone else. Can you tell me in one sentence I can remember?"

"Sure" he says.

"In words I can understand" I add.

"Oh. Hmmm. Lets see." He thinks a bit.

"Ok. This is really over simplified. You can just say I build systems that run Microsoft."

"Right now you could say I work on Cosmos."

Thrilled with the chance to show off that I have gleaned a tiny bit of knowledge over the years I look at him and say,

"But isn't that just a tool?" It seems to me all the languages, you know, like C# and SQL (pronounced sequel)  and methodologies like SAP and Hadoop- I might be totally off, but I do know Hadoop was named for a kids toy elephant. I can understand things like that.

So tool seemed like a safe bet. It worked.

"Yeah, you could say that. Do you know what it does?"

Oh shoot. Why does he always ask for verification. Now he'll find out that I am totally faking it, kind of. Can't I just intuitively know Cosmos isn't a product or project therefore it has to be a tool? Or it is one of those others but can still be classified as a tool. Why can't he just be impressed and we can go to sleep?

"Its a tool for organizing data" I state, feeling the odds are pretty good whatever it is or does could be described that way.

He seemed a little surprised.

"Yeah, actually." He admitted. It was dark but I'm pretty sure his face would have shown how impressed he was with my knowledge of geek speak. Or he was stifling his laughter at my poor attempts to converse knowledgeably on things I was clueless about and just pulling my leg. If so, please no one tell me. Ignorance is bliss and then I might feel tempted to ask him to really explain it to me.

But just to show off some other words, did you know that a yodabyte is bigger than a petabyte?  And if you do something to either of those you can turn them into yobabytes and pebabytes? I think one of those has wings or can't live within 500 yards of a school. I can't remember which.

Also to my credit, I know I couldn't be fooled like this:

I know you would need a much bigger box.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014


Linking up with Grace Or Copycatting because it has been a long time since I've been here and it seemed an easy segue to get back into writing, if it works. And not too much energy wasted if  it doesn't. Lists are easy, so I'll go with it. Also, if I finish this post before next month, I'll only have to come up with 36 bits of useless information. Who doesn't like to save a little?
Here we go:

1. I have not slept a full night's sleep in 3 years.

2. I do not have a sleeping disorder.

3. I do have 6 children, two of which are two and under, and the main bestowers of nighttime fun.

4. I complain a lot. In my head, if  Shane's not home.

5. I could not buy alcohol when I got married or had our first baby.

6.I never went to college. I like history. And learning. Though I have been known for embellishing some events when describing current hardships, and minimizing others when it comes to dents in vehicles.  According to some historians, named Shane.

7. My breakfast usually consists of two tall breve latt├ęs. And maybe an egg and toast later when the big kids are making their breakfasts and I put an order in.

8. I hate schedules and start panicking the minute I commit to one especially if it involves all children dressed with shoes and a starting time.

9. I wish dreadfully that my kids would be amenable to a sleep schedule. But they take after me.

10. I am an INTJ. Shane is an INTP. Supposedly that is the most difficult combination to make work. Thanks to Holy Spirit, its been working for almost 17 years.

11. I absolutely hate the cold and, much like transition, feel like I'd  jump out the nearest window if it would make the feeling go away.

12. Growing up, my favorite TV show was Night Hawk. For all of its 11 or so episodes. Rex Smith. A motorcycle. Say no more. ( I was 8. Or  9Then I saw Pirates of Penzance. It was a quick soup d'jour.

13. I don't know French. I took Latin.

14. I am terrible at math or anything with numbers.

15. I don't know how many more line items I can come up with.

16. I am horrible with new technology, including the handsfree system in my car. How  does  'Text Shane' turn into "Calling your 'deceased grandmother's name' ".The best I can manage is knowing my ABCs and the backspace key. Shane does everything in that arena and I don't understand  how other people get by at all.

17. I didn't have to be sold on the 'Geek is the new Sexy' trend. Our priest said to always maintain a little mystery. Marrying a computer geek is a pretty surefire way for me to always have some perpetual mystery in my life. Shane is super patient and still tries to explain what he does for a living. He leaves. He comes home. Money appears in my account.

18. Often I find being an introvert and having 6 kids isn't lonely enough.

19. I don't mind going to the dentist. Though I would rather spend the time away from the kids doing something other than saying 'AHHHHH' for 45 minutes.

20. I do like my annual MRIs and look forward to a cozy, albeit noisy, alone time.

21. I was diagnosed with MS when I was 13 and introduced to MRIs. They have improved greatly, and now with the added heated blanket option, I almost consider it a spa visit. Just a very expensive one that does nothing to improve my hair.

22. I hate clothes and especially shoe shopping.

23. If I am feeling unenergized about making dinner, I always default to a breakfast dish. Luckily my kids like French toast.

24. I am not sure of the last time I formally exercised. If it were not for the 2 yr old's antics I would not be getting any exercise. If it were not for the 2 yr old's antics, I might have time to exercise. But probably still wouldn't.

25. Kateri just now informed me said 2 yr old peed under the table.

26. I am ok with waiting to finish this list before asking one of the kids to clean it up. Fiona doesn't crawl yet so I've got a little time. I call it relaxed. Shane says it is bordering on lazy.

27. I was not gifted with any graces in the arts.  I usually just mouth the words to Happy Birthday. My kids tell me all my animal drawings look like llamas. No matter the intended species.

28. I like comedy better than drama. There isn't really anything I would not prefer to drama. Maybe Horror.

29. I like red wine and dark chocolate. Together or not.

30. I love dirt. Maybe it's the Irish in me. I even wrote a poem about it in 2nd grade.

31. I can't get the picture in the right place and Shane is not home so it is at the end of the list.

32. I've drinking coffee since I was 12. This is Seattle!

33. I was homeschooled from 7th grade through high school.

34. I cleaned the under the table mess.

35. This list has taken me ridiculously ,embarrassingly, long to write.

36. I have a cold so feel that #34 was especially heroic of me.

I wasn't kidding about #27.