Friday, December 2, 2011

Worst Dinner Ever- and I Made It!

Looking over the rest of our Scotland trip pictures, I realized a lot of the pictures are of what we ate. Given the chef we had on the boat, it is not surprising. But just to off-set it I wanted to tell about tonight's dinner. Which was not a pretty picture. Hence no picture.

It has been cold lately and with the Christmas tree and lights up, I wanted to make something cozy. So I picked up a roast for dinner, which I thoughtfully browned and roasted  to a nice rare 115 degrees. I made some mashed potatoes and roasted carrots and sweet potatoes to go with it. Then rounded it out with a butter lettuce, cranberry, feta salad.

After letting the meat rest, I went to carve it before calling everyone for dinner. My arm got tired so  I got out the electric carving knife to help me out. Even then, it was still slow going and my arm was getting tired. The blood spattering that resulted made the kitchen look like a scene from Donnie Brasco and I wondered what was up? The meat was nice and rare and should not have given any trouble. I kept at it until it was all carved, then set the table.

At first, everyone was excited for dinner. Then we started eating. Shane got up after his first bite to relieve his mouth of what he had just put in it. Cyprian started complaining he could not cut his meat. So I helped him. Cyril started to say the same, then decided he would be brave  and kept sawing away at his piece.

Shane got up to dispose of his second bite and finally, very nicely, hinted that  the meat seemed a little difficult to cut. Or chew. Never mind swallowing.

I cut and ate some meat and found it extremely stringy and not at all amenable to being eaten. If I cut the bites small enough and mixed it in with mashed potatoes then washed it down with wine, it was somewhat edible.

After 30 min, Kateri said " I just swallowed my second bite".  Cyril was still chewing. Audrey decided not to make a fuss and kept eating her mashed potatoes.

I suggested to the kids to cut the meat small and  swallow it whole. It was faster.

I looked over at Shane and we both started laughing. I apologized for the meat, then tried to point out the good points of the meal.

'At least the potatoes were good', I offered.

'I do like mashed potatoes', he said  'with gravy. Otherwise it is just  a big mouthful of starch.'

I hadn't made gravy.

'But the salad was tasty', I tried again.

Again, he countered.  'Some bites  it was lots of cranberries and lots of cheese. And one tiny lettuce leaf. You can finish yours, but I don't want to see it.'

I started to go into hysterics realizing I had made the same salad four nights this week.  I liked it. Apparently, he had just been suffering through it.

I looked at all the left overs and thought maybe we should  put it out for the raccoons to eat. Shane said he did not want to wake up to a bunch of  choked animals on our back porch,  so I asked him to dispose of the evidence and drank some more wine.

He ended the meal by saying , " I appreciate everything you did for dinner tonight. Just don't do it again."

Next time, I will post some picutes of fabulous things we did chew and eat successfully. And the rest of our Scotland trip pictures.

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