Today is our 16th anniversary! No cute wedding photo re-cap, because it was so long ago that all our pictures were etched into a rock wall somewhere. And I can't even find our wedding album to snap a digital picture of because, it's been 16 years! I know its somewhere in the house and maybe I should digitize them one of these years. But I haven't. Shane did get me my first digital camera two years later. And I promptly broke it 6 months later. Thus beginning my longtime love-hate relationship with anything more technologically advanced than a screwdriver. I didn't even have an email account until after we were married. But I won't get started on how the computer-mama relationship has gone.
We didn't plan anything too special for this year. Last year, with a two month old, it was breakfast out and a movie. At the theater. With all the kids. I think this year I'll just have him pick up some tasty snacks from trader Joe's and we'll open some wine. And maybe watch a movie at home. Malachi decided to give us an early present last night and went to bed at 9:00. And then he decided to take it back and woke up at 10:30, all refreshed from his nap. And then one of the kids needed to sleep on our floor, and since two kids share a room, it was a two-for-one, which further delighted Malachi and made it absolutely impossible for him to go to sleep until 2:00am. Which did enable him to sleep through the night for the FIRST TIME EVER. So low-key, low-energy expenditure is what I am going for this year. My in-laws did gift us a TWO night stay with the kids next month, which will be delightful and hopefully we can get enough rest to get me through the next delivery.
It will be nice to get a break after we've recovered a little bit from Christmas and late-night liturgy and kids that don't seem to need sleep. And Malachi's plague which has been plaguing him since Thanksgiving and adding to his already established no-sleep habits. We are thinking of actually not even going anywhere. Just staying home and not doing laundry. Or getting up at night or taking a week to watch a movie that came out 10 yrs ago and I've only been able to see it in 5 min increments so forgot how it started or what the plot is.
I did, however, manage to get him a gift. His long lost slippers! He's been wearing a pair, but they're both right feet. Today I found two other slippers. Only one is a left foot, but now he'll have a pair that won't make him turn in circles, and it increases the odds of having another full pair when we find another stray one. I didn't have to shop, spend money, and I know they'll fit. So I'm feeling really good about it. I even wrapped them. In Christmas paper. Because that's how it goes after 16 years.
Friday, December 27, 2013
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Up Dates- Part II
It felt good to be back in my room and to be with Shane. The doctor had already visited him to give him her update but she came back and Shane says we chatted. I'm glad he was there to remember what was said as there were some holes in my recollection. She did say upon getting a closer look, she observed the cervix was very soft and she suspected there had been some imperceptible contracting going on. And possibly nursing was contributing, so that had to stop. I was glad I had woken up and nursed Malachi before we left that morning, but I didn't realize that would be the last time. I was glad he was eating so much already but still sad for him. Other than that, the procedure had gone really well and after 24 hrs of monitoring for contractions we could go home.
There actually were two real contraction in that time period, but they did not feel any different to me from the occasional cramping and my stomach did not feel hard. So that was weird to have things going on with my body that I was not attuned to.
I felt really crampy and was surprised the regular doses of Ibuprofen they were giving me didn't make them better. The nurse ordered me up some oxycodone but even then I could still feel them. They weren't contractions, just cramping and complaining about being stretched and sewed. And perfectly normal.
After chatting with the Dr. Shane ran out and got me a latte. At 3:00, finally. And some snacks. I had jokingly asked the nurse that morning if they had some caffeine they could put in my IV. She said yes. But no. Dinner came. Some dry chicken and green beans. And strawberry cake. I ate it all. Shane had to go out to a local restaurant for some dinner and wine. I realized it was only 5:00 and knew I'd be hungry again before bed so I texted him and asked him to bring me a veal parmesan and some tiramisu. And half and half. He did.
That night my mother-in-law texted pictures of the kids and Grandpa rocking Malachi to sleep. Audrey slept in the big bed with the baby and he only woke up at midnight but went back to sleep after a bottle. I was so thankful we didn't have to worry about him being sad and really could 'relax' knowing all the kids were happy. Relax, as much as you can with the contraction monitor running all night, jamming and beeping. Sounding like a fish tank when it was not jamming, The antibiotic and ibuprofen rounds every few hours. The having to unhook every time I had to pee, the monitor and the leg warmers. Luckily they just put in an IV port so I didn't have to take my tail with me anymore. Shane was pushing water on my like crazy but I was tired of having to get up and I finally said 'no more!'.
Shane had a little blanket and pillow to cozy with on his little day bed. In the morning he ran out to get coffees for us and described how it felt to have slept in a hospital perfectly. Jetlagged. I was so thankful to the staff and hospital and really nothing could have gone better. And if we need to have a hospital birth I would feel comfortable about being at Evergreen. But I was really excited to come home and start my couch rest recovery. Just for a few days, then I could start getting up, but no heavy lifting, or excessive exercising. So not much different from most days.
A week later we went back to the OB. The ultrasound showed everything was staying in place- baby and stitch. She said she won't know until its time to take it out ( usually the 37th week) how much of an ordeal it will be. Could just be a snip in the office, unless its embedded too much and they'd need to put me out again. Then I could wear the squeezy legwarmers again. I might actually try some at home, if possible, if the night spasms get bad again. So, good to know about.
I go back again in a week for another check up. Its kind of fun getting to see the baby so often. And get reassurances she's doing well.
At the first visit the Dr said there was a 50% of preterm labor if they did nothing. I don't know if that changed when it had thinned again the next visit. According to statistics, the chances of a successful emergent cerclage- meaning it was not planned and the cervix had already started its readying procedures- and successful meaning the baby stays put until at least the 37th week, are 40%-60%. But given that I'm usually overdue, I'm expecting to have this baby some time in July. No. Not really. Maybe she'll just be on time.
But I don't know if we are past most of the hurdles that precipitate preterm labor- breaking the bag during the procedure, the procedure starting contractions, infections etc, and if that makes a difference in the numbers. I feel like we're all good. But not having history of this and not knowing/understanding the root cause that started it all, if they can even know, I'm anxious to see the weeks go by and know she's getting everything she needs from me. We're 25 weeks right now. Speaking of needs, I've been meaning to put out a post on sleep help. Not offering it. Asking about it. When I'm not too tired.
There actually were two real contraction in that time period, but they did not feel any different to me from the occasional cramping and my stomach did not feel hard. So that was weird to have things going on with my body that I was not attuned to.
I felt really crampy and was surprised the regular doses of Ibuprofen they were giving me didn't make them better. The nurse ordered me up some oxycodone but even then I could still feel them. They weren't contractions, just cramping and complaining about being stretched and sewed. And perfectly normal.
After chatting with the Dr. Shane ran out and got me a latte. At 3:00, finally. And some snacks. I had jokingly asked the nurse that morning if they had some caffeine they could put in my IV. She said yes. But no. Dinner came. Some dry chicken and green beans. And strawberry cake. I ate it all. Shane had to go out to a local restaurant for some dinner and wine. I realized it was only 5:00 and knew I'd be hungry again before bed so I texted him and asked him to bring me a veal parmesan and some tiramisu. And half and half. He did.
That night my mother-in-law texted pictures of the kids and Grandpa rocking Malachi to sleep. Audrey slept in the big bed with the baby and he only woke up at midnight but went back to sleep after a bottle. I was so thankful we didn't have to worry about him being sad and really could 'relax' knowing all the kids were happy. Relax, as much as you can with the contraction monitor running all night, jamming and beeping. Sounding like a fish tank when it was not jamming, The antibiotic and ibuprofen rounds every few hours. The having to unhook every time I had to pee, the monitor and the leg warmers. Luckily they just put in an IV port so I didn't have to take my tail with me anymore. Shane was pushing water on my like crazy but I was tired of having to get up and I finally said 'no more!'.
Shane had a little blanket and pillow to cozy with on his little day bed. In the morning he ran out to get coffees for us and described how it felt to have slept in a hospital perfectly. Jetlagged. I was so thankful to the staff and hospital and really nothing could have gone better. And if we need to have a hospital birth I would feel comfortable about being at Evergreen. But I was really excited to come home and start my couch rest recovery. Just for a few days, then I could start getting up, but no heavy lifting, or excessive exercising. So not much different from most days.
A week later we went back to the OB. The ultrasound showed everything was staying in place- baby and stitch. She said she won't know until its time to take it out ( usually the 37th week) how much of an ordeal it will be. Could just be a snip in the office, unless its embedded too much and they'd need to put me out again. Then I could wear the squeezy legwarmers again. I might actually try some at home, if possible, if the night spasms get bad again. So, good to know about.
I go back again in a week for another check up. Its kind of fun getting to see the baby so often. And get reassurances she's doing well.
At the first visit the Dr said there was a 50% of preterm labor if they did nothing. I don't know if that changed when it had thinned again the next visit. According to statistics, the chances of a successful emergent cerclage- meaning it was not planned and the cervix had already started its readying procedures- and successful meaning the baby stays put until at least the 37th week, are 40%-60%. But given that I'm usually overdue, I'm expecting to have this baby some time in July. No. Not really. Maybe she'll just be on time.
But I don't know if we are past most of the hurdles that precipitate preterm labor- breaking the bag during the procedure, the procedure starting contractions, infections etc, and if that makes a difference in the numbers. I feel like we're all good. But not having history of this and not knowing/understanding the root cause that started it all, if they can even know, I'm anxious to see the weeks go by and know she's getting everything she needs from me. We're 25 weeks right now. Speaking of needs, I've been meaning to put out a post on sleep help. Not offering it. Asking about it. When I'm not too tired.
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Up-Date And Lots Of Firsts Part I
Some funky stuff happened so I locked up the blog. Still not sure what I'm going to do, but for the moment I'm over it, and though fingers could still use some help in the nimble department, thought I'd give it a go.
We went in for the 20 week ultrasound. She's a girl! everything else looked good but then came the 'older pregnancy' warnings and Down Syndrome talk. Shane had taken the big kids out by then as the room was feeling increasingly small so only I was there to hear the ramblings ".. older mother ...you are in the blah blah blah..1 in 15 blah blah focus on the 14 in 15 blah blah test thick skin blah blah. Oh and your cervix is short. But we'd like to do an internal ultrasound to get a better picture if you are OK with that."
I answered as long as baby is fine, which she is, I don't need more tests for her. And she had frizzy hair. So don't knock my cervix. No, not really. Everyone's hair is better than mine these days. But I didn't need any more tests for the baby. And why not the extra ultrasound? After 5 kids, its not like there's room to be prudish. So she did and it confirmed the measurement of 2 cm. Which for 20 weeks was short and different from my previous pregnancies.
Then I saw the midwife. Then I went home and Binged cerclage and thin cervix. Then I went back three weeks later for another ultrasound and found the cervix was thinning more and measured 1.3 cm and the dr wanted to get something done about it ASAP. Fortunately there was no dilating or funneling, but it was still all new to me. She said there were two options, to put a stitch in or try progesterone shots for two weeks and see if it helped. Shane was not with me and didn't answer when I called him so I was feeling a bit (lot) overwhelmed. I'm horrible about making decisions, especially if they come up unexpectedly, are out of my experience realm, and could have serious consequences.
So I dropped in on my midwife, who is just around the corner, cried on her shoulder a bit then she sent me back to Evergreen to schedule a cerclage. They asked if I needed to go home first or if they could just admit me then. I said I'd like to run home first. They said come back at 4 or 5. For a noon surgery the next day. I asked if I could go home and sleep and come early in the morning. She said they could do the pre-op stuff right then and sure. Just don't eat after 3AM, be there at 7am.
So I played tag with Shane in the parking lot. He had driven up after not being to get a hold of me by cel phone, tried to catch me in the office, talked to the midwife and gotten the rundown, and just missed me at the OB's.
We finally found each other and ran home to have a steak dinner and sleep in our own bed.
The next morning, his mom came over and we headed to the hospital. We had the nicest nurse and I was sad when her shift was over. Which was not until dinner time, so that was nice. The Dr came and explained the procedure with her 'not very nice' tool and recommended I go for the general not the spinal. Which was also new for me. I said sure.
After several attempts they finally got an IV going (new again). Blood draws are easy on me so I was surprised it did not translate to an easy IV. Apparently I have lots of nodules?/blockages? or some other name I can't remember that don't allow the needle to thread into the vein very far or easily. So they had to try multiple sites before locating a good one.
So then we just had to sit and wait and play with the adjustable bed and read through baby names. Oh she also said they would keep me over night for monitoring.
Shane could stay or not. I was not prepared as I had read it was pretty much an out patient procedure, but as long as they gave me a toothbrush and a pair of underwear, we'd be fine.
Surgery was a little late. Then they couldn't find a wheelchair. I said I could walk just fine. But they said no. So we waited. They finally found one so Shane accompanied me and the nurse to the next floor where a host of people were waiting to each ask me my name, DOB, if I was allergic to latex, etc. It was strange to have all that attention and I was hoping someone would ask which muscle areas needed the most massaging. But no one did. They did however put cool yellow inflatable leg warmers on my calves, which would take turns filling/deflating and felt like a little massage . So they gave me a mask for a little while and wheeled me off to the operating room. And then it went just like the dr said it would. They would tell me they were putting the sleepy stuff in my IV. and then I would wake up and it would be over.
I woke up in a different room. I was screened off from the rest of the recovering patients but I could see them through the small gaps between the movable partitions. I didn't wonder what had happened or where I was but I didn't feel like moving at all. Which was a little distressing when I felt like I had to pee. A nurse was with me the whole time. She asked if I wanted to wait 10 min when I'd be back in my room or if I'd like her to assist me now( aka use a bed pan). I thought of and totally sympathized with Hank from Breaking Bad as I chose the latter. But it was so nice to be able to just lie there and not nearly as bad as what I knew had just been done to me. Glad I had gone for the general.
Soon they wheeled me back down the hall, into the elevator, and back to my room where Shane was waiting. I felt the mattress beneath me move and realized they were inflating it. Then using it to transfer me to my own bed. 'Wow,' I thought. 'That's really clever. I wonder who came up with that idea?'
We went in for the 20 week ultrasound. She's a girl! everything else looked good but then came the 'older pregnancy' warnings and Down Syndrome talk. Shane had taken the big kids out by then as the room was feeling increasingly small so only I was there to hear the ramblings ".. older mother ...you are in the blah blah blah..1 in 15 blah blah focus on the 14 in 15 blah blah test thick skin blah blah. Oh and your cervix is short. But we'd like to do an internal ultrasound to get a better picture if you are OK with that."
I answered as long as baby is fine, which she is, I don't need more tests for her. And she had frizzy hair. So don't knock my cervix. No, not really. Everyone's hair is better than mine these days. But I didn't need any more tests for the baby. And why not the extra ultrasound? After 5 kids, its not like there's room to be prudish. So she did and it confirmed the measurement of 2 cm. Which for 20 weeks was short and different from my previous pregnancies.
Then I saw the midwife. Then I went home and Binged cerclage and thin cervix. Then I went back three weeks later for another ultrasound and found the cervix was thinning more and measured 1.3 cm and the dr wanted to get something done about it ASAP. Fortunately there was no dilating or funneling, but it was still all new to me. She said there were two options, to put a stitch in or try progesterone shots for two weeks and see if it helped. Shane was not with me and didn't answer when I called him so I was feeling a bit (lot) overwhelmed. I'm horrible about making decisions, especially if they come up unexpectedly, are out of my experience realm, and could have serious consequences.
So I dropped in on my midwife, who is just around the corner, cried on her shoulder a bit then she sent me back to Evergreen to schedule a cerclage. They asked if I needed to go home first or if they could just admit me then. I said I'd like to run home first. They said come back at 4 or 5. For a noon surgery the next day. I asked if I could go home and sleep and come early in the morning. She said they could do the pre-op stuff right then and sure. Just don't eat after 3AM, be there at 7am.
So I played tag with Shane in the parking lot. He had driven up after not being to get a hold of me by cel phone, tried to catch me in the office, talked to the midwife and gotten the rundown, and just missed me at the OB's.
We finally found each other and ran home to have a steak dinner and sleep in our own bed.
The next morning, his mom came over and we headed to the hospital. We had the nicest nurse and I was sad when her shift was over. Which was not until dinner time, so that was nice. The Dr came and explained the procedure with her 'not very nice' tool and recommended I go for the general not the spinal. Which was also new for me. I said sure.
After several attempts they finally got an IV going (new again). Blood draws are easy on me so I was surprised it did not translate to an easy IV. Apparently I have lots of nodules?/blockages? or some other name I can't remember that don't allow the needle to thread into the vein very far or easily. So they had to try multiple sites before locating a good one.
So then we just had to sit and wait and play with the adjustable bed and read through baby names. Oh she also said they would keep me over night for monitoring.
Shane could stay or not. I was not prepared as I had read it was pretty much an out patient procedure, but as long as they gave me a toothbrush and a pair of underwear, we'd be fine.
Surgery was a little late. Then they couldn't find a wheelchair. I said I could walk just fine. But they said no. So we waited. They finally found one so Shane accompanied me and the nurse to the next floor where a host of people were waiting to each ask me my name, DOB, if I was allergic to latex, etc. It was strange to have all that attention and I was hoping someone would ask which muscle areas needed the most massaging. But no one did. They did however put cool yellow inflatable leg warmers on my calves, which would take turns filling/deflating and felt like a little massage . So they gave me a mask for a little while and wheeled me off to the operating room. And then it went just like the dr said it would. They would tell me they were putting the sleepy stuff in my IV. and then I would wake up and it would be over.
I woke up in a different room. I was screened off from the rest of the recovering patients but I could see them through the small gaps between the movable partitions. I didn't wonder what had happened or where I was but I didn't feel like moving at all. Which was a little distressing when I felt like I had to pee. A nurse was with me the whole time. She asked if I wanted to wait 10 min when I'd be back in my room or if I'd like her to assist me now( aka use a bed pan). I thought of and totally sympathized with Hank from Breaking Bad as I chose the latter. But it was so nice to be able to just lie there and not nearly as bad as what I knew had just been done to me. Glad I had gone for the general.
Soon they wheeled me back down the hall, into the elevator, and back to my room where Shane was waiting. I felt the mattress beneath me move and realized they were inflating it. Then using it to transfer me to my own bed. 'Wow,' I thought. 'That's really clever. I wonder who came up with that idea?'
Monday, October 14, 2013
Malachi's Story
( This was written about 9 months ago. As tomorrow is Malachi's first birthday. I thought I should finally post it. Sans editing. Like I normally painstakingly do. (Ha ha. Spell check is as close to editing as I get these days/years.)
8:30am Shane announces over coffee that today is the day. I say ok. We wake up the kids and they join us in the library. We watch Baumgartner jump. Wow!
11:00am I eat a snack and take a nap in preparation. We wait. I try to pack in as many calories as I can not knowing how long I have or many reserves I'll need. Each bite could be my last. I finish up some baby laundry and put drinks and things I might want in various places. The baby blankets are stacked neatly on my vanity.
9pm Standing in the kitchen I feel a contraction that makes me grumpy and think Shane must be right. I wish I had gotten more sleep.
11:00 We go up to bed to get more sleep as the nap has worn off. I can't sleep. Shane starts timing- 9 min, 4 min, 13min. I call my sister and say it is probably going to be tonight and to share the information with the rest of the family. We'll call when it gets serious.
1:00 I tell Shane they are getting stronger and to page the midwife and call his mom and Tirzah. And run me a bath. While he is talking to Heike my water breaks. Fortunately I'm on the toilet.
1:45 Heike arrives. I am in the tub. Counting towel thread loops, bathroom tiles, or watching a piece of lint floating in the water. Anything I can think of to focus on. Heike says baby's head is right there and wonders if Tracy will make it in time. The contractions are strong but I'm staying on top of them. Tirzah, my mother-in-law, and the second midwife, Tracy, arrive. Tirzah brings freshly made muffins and half-and-half. I'm really glad because our fridge has been broken for three weeks and we are living out of a cooler on the back porch. Which would not accommodate a Cotstco trip's worth of anything so food is a little scarce.
2:10 I say I want to push. Heike says baby's head is right there 'shoots away' or something like that. I float on my back and wait for the next contraction. I am visualizing getting in bed with the baby and having a good sleep. Soon.
2:40 I feel the baby kick. A contraction starts and I get ready just as it starts to fade away. I wait for the next one. I start drumming my fingers on the tub wall. The contractions get shorter and weaker and very far apart. I feel way more aware of what is going on around me than I think I should be. I ask Heike what's up. She suggests trying a new position. I float a little while longer just breathing through the contractions. Pushing feels like a waste of energy.
3:10 I move to the birth stool and the contractions get a little stronger. Then weaker. I get up to pee, walking starts a contraction. I sit down. It goes away. I'm flummoxed. I'm feeling exhausted already. This was why I was hoping for labor to start in the morning with a full night's rest behind me. So I decide to try and rest instead.
3:40 Shane helps me get back in bed. The contractions are strong and I can't sleep.
4:00 Back to birthing stool. Uterus still trying to go AWOL. Heike gives me some sublingual pills advises on various techniques to jumpstart things again.
4:20 Hurts like crazy burning across my abdomen when I push. Heike suspects full bladder and unceremoniously and almost imperceptibly inserts a catheter. I think 'wow that was not a big deal.' But it still hurts when I push.
4:25 Heike says my body is out of energy. The athletic equivalent of bonking.Tirzah brings up some of Shane's gel shots left over from his bike rides. They taste horrible but I eat two. Supposedly they are different flavors.
4:30 The poor excuse for contractions start up again. I'm feeling fed up. We had planned on Shane delivering the baby but Heike decides he needs to stand behind me and be a restraint. Which is good. He holds me around my shoulders and with the next pseudo contraction I push like there's no tomorrow. It starts to ebb quickly but I keep pushing, grab another breath and go under again. It feels like a do or die moment and I want to finish. Now.
4:31 Out comes Malachi's head- along with about 1000cc of blood. I look down and see him. I am so relieved to finally see some progress for all my work but know it's not done yet.
4:33 Feeling a little betrayed, I give up waiting for any assistance from a contraction and push the rest of him out. Along with another gush of blood.
4:34 I nuzzle Malachi. Shane and I admire him and declare it to be the best birth yet.
4:40 Placenta delivered. more blood. Heike gives me two shots, one of Pitocin one of methergine. More blood. Shane cuts the cord and helps me get in bed, leaving a scene from Donnie Brasco in the bathroom and blood on anyone standing in a 4ft radius of the birth stool.( Over the next few days we find and clean up more remnants of the birth. I just discovered yesterday, three months later, some spatter on the wall that was overlooked before.)Partial abruption found on placenta.
4:45- I start shaking and shivering. Shane gets in bed next to me. I can't talk my teeth are chattering so hard. I don't even notice who has the baby. They give me a hot pad and extra blankets.
5:10 Midwives clean up the delivery site and the trail I left from the bathroom to the bed. Somebody brings me Malachi and he nurses right away. I am finally warm. I take some ibuprofen.
5:40 -Cyril sees Tirzah in the laundry room and assumes it means one thing. He comes to our room with big eyes and is enormously pleased to meet his new little brother. He runs off to wake the other kids and soon we are all gathered together on the bed. The midwives let the kids have family time before they do the newborn exam. The kids ooh and aah over his tiny fingers and toes. Trudy feeds me chicken noodle soup. And muffins with lots of butter.
6:00- Midwives go down. Tirzah and Grandma feed them muffins and coffee. Then they regroup upstairs. Somebody feeds me something.
6:20-The midwives do the newborn exam there on the bed. Nothing of note but a suspected tongue-tie. He weighs in at 8 lbs even. 21 inches. Kateri puts on his first diaper.
Everyone goes home or back to bed. I am put on bed rest for a week until my iron recovers. I lost more blood ( about 2 cups,) than I did with Cyprian. I'm glad I didn't pass out again. And do glad to finally be snuggled up in bed with Shane and the baby.
8:30am Shane announces over coffee that today is the day. I say ok. We wake up the kids and they join us in the library. We watch Baumgartner jump. Wow!
11:00am I eat a snack and take a nap in preparation. We wait. I try to pack in as many calories as I can not knowing how long I have or many reserves I'll need. Each bite could be my last. I finish up some baby laundry and put drinks and things I might want in various places. The baby blankets are stacked neatly on my vanity.
9pm Standing in the kitchen I feel a contraction that makes me grumpy and think Shane must be right. I wish I had gotten more sleep.
11:00 We go up to bed to get more sleep as the nap has worn off. I can't sleep. Shane starts timing- 9 min, 4 min, 13min. I call my sister and say it is probably going to be tonight and to share the information with the rest of the family. We'll call when it gets serious.
1:00 I tell Shane they are getting stronger and to page the midwife and call his mom and Tirzah. And run me a bath. While he is talking to Heike my water breaks. Fortunately I'm on the toilet.
1:45 Heike arrives. I am in the tub. Counting towel thread loops, bathroom tiles, or watching a piece of lint floating in the water. Anything I can think of to focus on. Heike says baby's head is right there and wonders if Tracy will make it in time. The contractions are strong but I'm staying on top of them. Tirzah, my mother-in-law, and the second midwife, Tracy, arrive. Tirzah brings freshly made muffins and half-and-half. I'm really glad because our fridge has been broken for three weeks and we are living out of a cooler on the back porch. Which would not accommodate a Cotstco trip's worth of anything so food is a little scarce.
2:10 I say I want to push. Heike says baby's head is right there 'shoots away' or something like that. I float on my back and wait for the next contraction. I am visualizing getting in bed with the baby and having a good sleep. Soon.
2:40 I feel the baby kick. A contraction starts and I get ready just as it starts to fade away. I wait for the next one. I start drumming my fingers on the tub wall. The contractions get shorter and weaker and very far apart. I feel way more aware of what is going on around me than I think I should be. I ask Heike what's up. She suggests trying a new position. I float a little while longer just breathing through the contractions. Pushing feels like a waste of energy.
3:10 I move to the birth stool and the contractions get a little stronger. Then weaker. I get up to pee, walking starts a contraction. I sit down. It goes away. I'm flummoxed. I'm feeling exhausted already. This was why I was hoping for labor to start in the morning with a full night's rest behind me. So I decide to try and rest instead.
3:40 Shane helps me get back in bed. The contractions are strong and I can't sleep.
4:00 Back to birthing stool. Uterus still trying to go AWOL. Heike gives me some sublingual pills advises on various techniques to jumpstart things again.
4:20 Hurts like crazy burning across my abdomen when I push. Heike suspects full bladder and unceremoniously and almost imperceptibly inserts a catheter. I think 'wow that was not a big deal.' But it still hurts when I push.
4:25 Heike says my body is out of energy. The athletic equivalent of bonking.Tirzah brings up some of Shane's gel shots left over from his bike rides. They taste horrible but I eat two. Supposedly they are different flavors.
4:30 The poor excuse for contractions start up again. I'm feeling fed up. We had planned on Shane delivering the baby but Heike decides he needs to stand behind me and be a restraint. Which is good. He holds me around my shoulders and with the next pseudo contraction I push like there's no tomorrow. It starts to ebb quickly but I keep pushing, grab another breath and go under again. It feels like a do or die moment and I want to finish. Now.
4:31 Out comes Malachi's head- along with about 1000cc of blood. I look down and see him. I am so relieved to finally see some progress for all my work but know it's not done yet.
4:33 Feeling a little betrayed, I give up waiting for any assistance from a contraction and push the rest of him out. Along with another gush of blood.
4:34 I nuzzle Malachi. Shane and I admire him and declare it to be the best birth yet.
4:40 Placenta delivered. more blood. Heike gives me two shots, one of Pitocin one of methergine. More blood. Shane cuts the cord and helps me get in bed, leaving a scene from Donnie Brasco in the bathroom and blood on anyone standing in a 4ft radius of the birth stool.( Over the next few days we find and clean up more remnants of the birth. I just discovered yesterday, three months later, some spatter on the wall that was overlooked before.)Partial abruption found on placenta.
4:45- I start shaking and shivering. Shane gets in bed next to me. I can't talk my teeth are chattering so hard. I don't even notice who has the baby. They give me a hot pad and extra blankets.
5:10 Midwives clean up the delivery site and the trail I left from the bathroom to the bed. Somebody brings me Malachi and he nurses right away. I am finally warm. I take some ibuprofen.
5:40 -Cyril sees Tirzah in the laundry room and assumes it means one thing. He comes to our room with big eyes and is enormously pleased to meet his new little brother. He runs off to wake the other kids and soon we are all gathered together on the bed. The midwives let the kids have family time before they do the newborn exam. The kids ooh and aah over his tiny fingers and toes. Trudy feeds me chicken noodle soup. And muffins with lots of butter.
6:00- Midwives go down. Tirzah and Grandma feed them muffins and coffee. Then they regroup upstairs. Somebody feeds me something.
6:20-The midwives do the newborn exam there on the bed. Nothing of note but a suspected tongue-tie. He weighs in at 8 lbs even. 21 inches. Kateri puts on his first diaper.
Everyone goes home or back to bed. I am put on bed rest for a week until my iron recovers. I lost more blood ( about 2 cups,) than I did with Cyprian. I'm glad I didn't pass out again. And do glad to finally be snuggled up in bed with Shane and the baby.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Please Pray
I'm asking anyone who comes across this post, to please pray for my brother-in-law and his family. He was just diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. He and his wife have four young children. My sister-in-law has decided to share their journey. You can read about it here http://theborgesons.blogspot.com/2013/08/war-and-peace.html?m=1
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Thursday, July 25, 2013
A little lunch reading
I sat down to peruse the internet while eating lunch today and this article caught my eye:
http://www.examiner.com/article/multiple-sclerosis-death-due-to-tecfidera-unlikely-but-still-investigated
My favorite paragraph was this:
The introduction of the drug has exceeded expectations though and, coupled with therapies like Gilenya, these pill-form medications are changing the way patients are dealing with their disease. i.e. They are DYING!
OK. I added that last part. But it's still true. When I went to the neurologist last she listed all the new drugs coming out. But cautioned it is always a good idea to wait and see who dies first. And of what, as the market guinea pigs are more numerous than the trial rats and new information (side effects) really come out once a drug is FDA approved.
Not that I was thinking of trying it anyway. But its fun to keep up on the news.
Speaking of MS, I have been blogging in my head a lot lately and have been looking forward to sharing stories about walking into doorways and falling off exam beds, and cleverly and desperately peeing in a diaper only to find the '12 hrs of wetness protection' is a lie. (Also, some of those stories have a basis in reality and some do not. But I'll let you wonder a bit for now.) Because for real my hands are numb and typing with the fingers that are just mobile enough (popsicle sticks would work as well) is really slow so no longwinded diatribes about the state and fate of man or mice (especially ones in trials). For now. But it started with my legs and they are feeling some improvement so hopefully that means its on its way out and I will be a fully functional battle station in a few weeks. I'm bummed because I did want to participate in Jen's 7 for Seven idea. At least I have something new to read every day this week.
http://www.examiner.com/article/multiple-sclerosis-death-due-to-tecfidera-unlikely-but-still-investigated
My favorite paragraph was this:
The introduction of the drug has exceeded expectations though and, coupled with therapies like Gilenya, these pill-form medications are changing the way patients are dealing with their disease. i.e. They are DYING!
OK. I added that last part. But it's still true. When I went to the neurologist last she listed all the new drugs coming out. But cautioned it is always a good idea to wait and see who dies first. And of what, as the market guinea pigs are more numerous than the trial rats and new information (side effects) really come out once a drug is FDA approved.
Not that I was thinking of trying it anyway. But its fun to keep up on the news.
Speaking of MS, I have been blogging in my head a lot lately and have been looking forward to sharing stories about walking into doorways and falling off exam beds, and cleverly and desperately peeing in a diaper only to find the '12 hrs of wetness protection' is a lie. (Also, some of those stories have a basis in reality and some do not. But I'll let you wonder a bit for now.) Because for real my hands are numb and typing with the fingers that are just mobile enough (popsicle sticks would work as well) is really slow so no longwinded diatribes about the state and fate of man or mice (especially ones in trials). For now. But it started with my legs and they are feeling some improvement so hopefully that means its on its way out and I will be a fully functional battle station in a few weeks. I'm bummed because I did want to participate in Jen's 7 for Seven idea. At least I have something new to read every day this week.
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